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Ölüdeniz

The plan today was to have a lazy day at the beach. It certainly didn't start off lazy, as I had to get a dolmus, firstly back down to the otogar and then get another dolmus to Oludeniz beach…the big British tourist mecca of Turkey.

I made it to Oludeniz after about an hour of screwing around. I immediately set about getting what I had come here for, no not a tan…..bacon. This is probably one if not the only place in Turkey where one can acquire a full English breakfast complete with bacon. Geez, its only been a week and already the crappy Turkish breakfast of cucumbers, tomato, feta chesse, bread and a boiled egg is getting to me.

I sat down in a beachside restaurant and ordered my breakfast which disappeared completely as soon as they put it in front of me. I then set about finding a towel, as up until now I have managed to get away without one as I have been staying in hotels the entire time. That's all about to change though, firstly with my gullet cruise the day after tomorrow, then with Olimpos and finally with camping in Africa in October.

After I purchased a towel I went and found a sun louger and spent the rest of the morning on the beach and in the pretty turquoise ocean, surrounded by stunning cliff faces. The beach was made of white rocks and the journey into the water was a bit steep. I as usual entered and exited the ocean with all the grace of a donkey with three legs. I remember the last time I got out of the ocean thinking, this made Kamari in Santorini look like a piece of cake. Well, in all fairness I had Stefan there to help me out at times.

When I'd had enough of swimming I went for a look in some of the shops, it was blindingly hot and I saw a guy flogging slush puppies. Sold, I thought and purchased and orange one. It could have possibly been the best slush puppy of all time, or I may have just had sunstroke. After I finished my incredible beverage, I got the dolmus back to Fethiye and then proceeded to lay by the pool in a kabana for the rest of the day.

At about 8pm I decided to go into town to get dinner, this meant another dolmus ride. I had dinner at a place called the duck pond, what I ordered I don't think is what I actually got, but that's not unusual for travelling. I then got chatting with a guy named Jamal, who owned the rug shop opposite the restaurant and sat in his shop talking with him for about an hour.

I resolved to walk home as I had not gotten much exercise today and I wanted to go and sit in the Telmessos theatre for a bit. The Telmessos theatre is an ancient theatre which sits in the middle of Fethiye town. There is no entrance fee to go in, its not roped off, there are no guards to tell you off for climbing on it, theres only a dilapidated information board to tell you what it even is.

I went and sat in the theatre, it was dark now and a cool breeze was blowing. I had made the worst decision of my life in this theatre at a point like this. The decision to come back to Australia and give up this life for a guy, a guy who never appreciated the sacrifice I made to be with him. Who constantly complained about living in Sydney, thinking it was my home town, who insisted on moving us to Brisbane, which I hated, never the whole time realizing that even Sydney was a compromise. This is home, or the closest approximation to it that I've ever felt.

My friends and family are in Sydney and I love them to bits, I love Egypt and feel at ease in Cairo but I've never felt I could live there, and well Moscow, sitting in this theatre, Moscow seems a million miles away. No I belong here, and as I sat there realizing that from that awful decision, I had now come full circle, a cruel thought took hold of me. I have to leave again. Still two weeks away the thought of having to leave this place again both terrified me and almost brought me to tears and on top of that I haven't even been to Olimpos yet. My favourite place in the world, I don't know how I'm going to feel when I walk into Olimpos, let alone when I have to walk out again.

After I'd finished contemplating life in the theatre, as I always did when I passed through here, I walked back to the hotel still thinking, what if?

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